so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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