ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize