i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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