Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
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I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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