Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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