my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
