I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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