it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
