She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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