hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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