She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
