hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
