You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
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the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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