I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
