it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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