I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
