i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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