dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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