I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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