How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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