I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
