Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
