You just made me feel so damn special
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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