we have officially lost it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
