I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
