My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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