About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
