My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
