i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
