those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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