Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
