You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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