oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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