does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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