my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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