ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
