one two three fourrrrnication!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
