Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
