White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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