More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
