You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's never too late to be topless.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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