Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
