lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
