Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
