some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
time to smoke my breakfast
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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