you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Less talking, more tequila
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
