why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
