its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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