Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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