Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize