it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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