i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
