i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
