If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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