Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
