The maid of honor just puked.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think your dad took our porno
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
