Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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