I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
