Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize