That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
