ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
