it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
