She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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