You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
